navigating transitions
Because life is full of ‘em.
The question is: when are we ever not in-transit? If life demands that we constantly shift and shed, we might as well learn to get comfortable with the process.
Some common transitional periods are:
Graduating college
Job seeking
Moving to a new city/country and getting used to a new environment
A phase of life coming to an end — and a new phase not yet beginning
Since the brain loves certainty, the ambiguity of transitions be very anxiety-provoking.
To cope with anxiety, we often tell ourselves stories about what’s going on. These stories can sometimes take the form of expectations that float at the back of our minds, in the form of beliefs:
When I get there, I’ll finally be happy / relaxed
The upcoming change will bring lasting relief and happiness
I don’t deserve to rest or to enjoy myself until after I complete this transitional period (I have to be in a state of tension in order to get what I want)
But what happens when a transitional period doesn’t have a definite length of time attached to it?
Unhelpful beliefs could mean withholding rest and positive feelings from yourself in the process, while potentially increasing levels of frustration, despair, disappointment, burn out and impatience.
Here are some ways to re-frame these thoughts in a neutral/constructive manner:
I’m excited about the next level/phase of my life, and I can already start to act on these new aspects of my self in my daily life
Each new level brings with it new challenges, it will be better in some ways but also challenging in others
I can integrate as much rest and enjoyment as possible during this transition period so that I can take care of myself as best as I can
Other than rewriting your thoughts and beliefs, creating structure for yourself during chaotic or uncertain times can lessen anxiety.
Some wild cards:
Being burnt out, feeling depressed or anxious can affect the way you think and feel about transitions, which are often highly stressful no matter how prepared you are for it. It’s normal to not be ‘positive’ about it all of the time.
You’re restricted by circumstances out of your control that could also bring up feelings of grief, anger, sorrow.
You’re being reminded of situations in the past that impacted you negatively; you’re getting thoughts like ‘I never get what I want’ ‘Things won’t work out’ - this could point to deeper issues that have impacted your basic sense of trust and security. It can take some work to unravel which thoughts are based in reality and which are simply remnants of past experiences.
Talking it through could be helpful! ↓
