questioning the mystery
Whenever things happen in our lives it’s easy to get caught up in a turmoil of emotions. Confusion naturally arises and we tend to default to whatever coping mechanism we’re most accustomed to — fixing; overworking; achieving; blaming (self or others); avoidance; numbing; denial. Some are obviously more constructive than others.
Growth is possible when we start to shine a light on ingrained patterns with as much gentleness as we can muster. This feels like a tall order, right? At first, it feels a little like a visit to the dentist after maybe just a little too long (Like, years. Or perhaps even a whole lifetime). We brace for someone to lecture us or to find out we have a bunch of cavities and it’s going to cost us. There’s some sheepishness or embarrassment. Sometimes it feels way too sensitive, way too painful to even try to touch with a ten-foot pole. There’s no trust that anyone would ever be able to understand.
But really, being able to pause and say to yourself ‘you know what — I’m really curious as to why this is happening (over and over again)’ and daring to really sit with the answers — and be with the feelings they set off — is such a watershed moment.
Call it evolution, change, soul growth, embarking on a hero’s journey —it’s always an honor and inspiration to witness someone take that first step because I know just how much courage it takes to look up and away from habitual living and gaze into the unknown — because who knows what you may find?
You may not immediately get all the answers (if that’s even possible), but when you find that you’re shifting the way you question yourself, you’ll know for sure that growth is taking place.
You’re engaging with the mystery and the art and science of what it means to be human.
from
“why is this happening to me?”
to
“how can I learn from this?”
“what is the meaning of this experience?”
from
“why did you make me feel this way?”
to
“what is this feeling trying to tell me?”
“what wounds/expectations/attachments do I have (when it comes to this relationship)?”
from
“why can’t this person / situation change?”
to
“how am I contributing to this dynamic?”
from
“why is nothing changing?”
to
“what action can I take based on what I’ve learned about myself?
